What About Yo’ Friends? : The Importance of Friendship Circles for Women
When we hear the words “love” and “intimacy,” often the first type of relationship that comes to mind is romantic - we think about our baes, crushes and exes. But what about yo’ friends? As women, having safe spaces and community with other women is one of the most impactful types of relationships we experience. From kindergarten to menopause, being seen, loved and in community with other women is invaluable.
In her memoir Becoming, Michelle Obama says “Friendships between women, as any woman will tell you, are born of a thousand small kindnesses, swapped back and forth and over again.” This resonates on a spiritual level. When we think about our biggest wins, challenges, losses and joys, there is often a small group of women cheering us on, lifting us up and keeping it real.
As women, we wear many hats and are expected to wear them all well. We are bosses and caretakers who lead our businesses and families. No one understands the demands we experience like other women. We learn from each other and push one another to be our best. We inspire each other to rest. We check in and make sure we’re taking care of ourselves so that we can better take care of others. The bond between women is incredibly unique.
If you're still looking for your tribe, keep searching, girl. We all find our people, and when you do they will welcome you with open arms. Here are some things to consider:
1 Find your tribe- Find and contribute to a judgment-free zone. The beauty about the right community of women is that you can be your full self with no judgment. You honor that by not bringing judgmental energy into the space. We’re all just figuring it out at the end of the day - allowing another woman to show up where she is helps you both grow. Leave that negativity and holier than thou attitude at the door, sis.
2 Celebrate and show up- As women, we tend to be very emotionally in tune with our loved ones. Find a tribe that’s ready to pop bottles with you for the good times and cry with you during the hard ones. And even in the times that don’t seem like they should be hard - show up. You never know what someone is dealing with. When we are present and there for our girls, they do the same for us.
3 Move past societal milestones- We are programmed to think about typical milestones for women - marriage, baby(ies), new job. These are big steps in any woman’s life, but when we overfocus on just these, we inadvertently miss out on our girls who don’t fall into these traditional categories. Every milestone is worth a celebration - birthdays, promotions, advanced degrees, new homes, removing ourselves from a toxic situation. Keep the same energy for all of it!
I am so grateful for ALL of my girl gangs that have taken me from the sandbox to where I am today. While I hold a lot of titles, one of my favorites will always be “friend.” Shout out to you and your squad - be good to each other. Empowered women empower women.
XXX,
Nickey 💋